How are you embracing your human connections?

7 reasons why it matters and some quick thoughts to activate

In another back-to-basics, pre-covid look-back; I pulled up an article I’d written on Human Connection. Why does it matter? What is it about human connection that is so fundamental to our wellbeing? How can it help us be better people, leaders and organizations?

 

When you think about positive human connections what springs to mind for you? What’s the visual you see when you close your eyes? What memories does it unearth? Why does human connection matter to you and what would you like to do to strengthen it?

As I was reviewing my previous thoughts, I looked through my notes from all the clients we have been working with recently around individual purpose. No surprise perhaps that literally everyone’s individual purpose statements and game plans, explicitly enriched other people’s lives in some way. Not one person’s purpose could live in a vacuum, in fact human connection was the air that would enable everyone’s purpose to breath and the catalyst so it could ultimately thrive. Again, perhaps not surprising but nevertheless important.

As Maslow would have us appreciate, human connection is one of three fundamental and basic “security” needs, without which we are unable to sustain self-actualization as the best version of ourselves. As we’ll refer to below, research shows strong correlations between meaningful connections and happiness, resilience, fulfillment and wellbeing. In the professional space also – to retention and engagement.

So, are we getting these basics right?

Below are a few areas of human connection that resonate most with me and quick-check thoughts on how I try to embrace and reinforce them, daily. What works for you?

1) Positive Energy Exchange:

This is all about being a “positive energy giver” – one of the terms we used to use all the time when coaching kids. Guess what – it works just as well with adults. Adding positive energy to someone’s day, filling their bucket, is not only an enjoyable and rewarding thing to do but it engages us and builds affinity. Positive energy is infectious, just try to ignore a baby smiling!

– Smile, Be upbeat, Catch the positive, Celebrate the positive, Champion progress, Champion people!

2) It’s what we’re wired to do:

You don’t have to be a Buddhist to appreciate and understand that we are all part of a system, connected in various ways through the universe. Thus, connecting is a natural human instinct and indeed a requirement for survival. Connecting empathetically, compassionately and respectfully enables us to positively impact others. By better understanding others, their motivations, desires and feelings we can contribute authentically and add value to the relationship.

– Ask gently, listen fully, repeat sympathetically, encourage gently, support authentically

3) It Differentiates vs Digital:

Despite the prior point, how many times do you see groups of people sitting around a table on their phones / devices, not interacting at all (to be fair, we didn’t for a couple of years)! We all understand why (yes, we’re all busy) but still! Words like “connection” and “friends” have taken on a new, sometimes diluted meaning.

In this digital age, the value in face-to-face connection- the handshake, eye contact, other body language and tone of voice, are differentiators. There’s a strong positive correlation between the importance of a communication and the effectiveness of the outcome, as you move away from social media, Apps, text and email to verbal, video and face to face. Old-school relationship development, isn’t old school any more – it’s new age and it works!

– Embrace the hand shake, enjoy the hug, appreciate the animation – it’s been a while!

4) It Builds Belonging, Identity & Wisdom:

Everyone wants to feel part of something and none of us know everything. Making the right connections in the right way, enables you to be part of something bigger than yourself. It shapes who you are (to yourself and others) and enables you to tap into collective wisdom. It means you may be called upon to help someone else, or perhaps you offer, or ask someone to help you.

Having generated an authentic network means you have all this additional knowledge, skills and experiences at your disposal. We don’t just have to search on google, we can also ask someone we trust (and search on google)!

– Throw it out there, share together, ask for help, why not?

5) It Provides Support & Improves Learning:

Similarly to the above and especially in business, establishing key connections around key issues can accelerate and improve learning and provide support during a learning curve. As we may have all likely read- we are the average of our 5 closest friends. So at work, we are as effective as those whom we surround ourselves with.

When I last wrote this, I was transitioning to a new role. A year ago, I transitioned into my current role. Human connections have been key to successful transitions (in and out). This includes people who know things I don’t, or have had experiences I haven’t had, or have strengths and skills that make mine stronger. People who first and foremost – I trust. People who I can support in a different way.

– What are my strengths, who can complement them (filling gaps, making them stronger), what about in reverse? Who can I learn from, Who can I collaborate with, Who can I support?

6) It’s a Catalyst Navigating Change

Regardless of the circumstances, change is hard and support is key. Input from others may inspire hope, help you develop new skills, or a different perspective. Relationships developed to drive through a period of change strengthen and make the change process far less onerous. Similarly, more of the right minds with differing opinions can create tension, and from tension comes debate, insights and ultimately creative solutions.

Diverse opinions matter and they reflect our reality, the world we live in and are connected to. So why not consider, learn them and honor others, upfront, before we act.

– Offer / ask for support, build a diverse support team, share your ambitions, compare notes, try something new.

7) Promotes positive mental health & wellbeing:

Human connections can develop a sense of belonging which as we’ve written about before and according to McKinsey is one of the primary reasons people stay (or leave) their jobs. Moreover, it’s a human instinct to identify with and want to belong, so again – a basic must do. Obviously human connection can help us be more resilient – knowing, we’re not in it alone, others may have bounced back, they have our backs and can help us pull through.

Plus, let’s not forgot the famous Grant Study by Harvard Medical School – who ran the longest running longitudinal study on happiness, which concluded that the most effective determinant of happiness in life, was meaningful relationships. As the director of the study said:

“Personal connection creates mental and emotional stimulation, which are automatic mood boosters, while isolation is a mood buster,” Dr. Robert J. Waldinger.

– Consider depth, not breadth; different communities / affinity groups / causes / clubs that resonate; Think how can I contribute and make a difference? Meaningful connections will flow from there…

Want to work on strengthening human connection? Please get in touch to learn how we could help.

The original version of this article is here, re-published with permission from me:)